Thursday, September 29, 2005

Am I Random or what?.

LOL.It just takes one LOOK from the right person to change the dynamics of a neutral equation.! Ha, so then comes the chemical inbalance, the butterflies in the stomach.the daydreams at night..Time apparently heals all wounds, cleanses all fears and reveals all secrets.Well, my headache has subsided..and TIME spent in bed has been well appreciated..The world certainly looks different when you're out on a week day..So ok,I haven't given my number to a guy for AGES..Wow..for TIME..actually..Hmm, something has to give..It's just that I'm not in the mood for the random dinner date with the random guy who has random things to say..But you just never know..You know what? What? It's time to be RANDOM..TIME spent doing RANDOM things might just prove to be interesting..Right..Random act (1)..I'm going to Paris weekend after next..There's a James Bond Ball I've been invited to and I'll be needing a frock..How much does BA charge for flights to Paris these days?..Ha..My Parisian friends will definitely be shocked.Who would have thought..That Random lines written from Random thoughts on a Random day would lead me on to a Random trip weekend after next..I must be RANDOM..Ha!


Awwww..We still have some really sweet folks in this world..Really makes all the difference.. Thanks..;-)

After thought

I've been ill for a couple of days now, and I still managed to make it into work..somewhere between eight and nine last night..It dawned on me, that "this work" will surely go on if something rather unfortunate happened to me tomorrow..

I've refocused and for the first time in my life..I've called in sick..Your life is your own..God has given you the responsibility to look after your self.If you don't look after number one..NOBODY will..

I have so much to be thankful for..and so much more to live for..

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I am so tired..mind and body...Only my soul stays resilient..
What I would do for a..............

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Please wake me, I'm dreaming

Please wake me when the sun decides to wander to the east
Don't leave me wading in this determined uncertainty
Lie by my side and watch me smile
As I move rhythmically to the tune in my dreams
I feel the warmth from your breath and the strings in your heart
Leave your arms tightly wrapped around my resonating form
Don't let go before the nightmare hunters get me
Stroke my hair so my unconscious revels in your presence
But when it's morning and you have to leave
Please wake me, I don't want to keep on dreaming..
There is a some kind of clarity that one gets from spending time alone, pondering..It's truly amazing.But then you also have to deal with the harsh realities, and that's not easy either. I'm increasingly enjoying weekends where I just spend time with me, myself and I. It's almost like I'm chilling in a different world..and then maybe my phone rings, and I get confused for the split second before I say "hello"..This weekend I've realised two things..Being young is an invaluable resource..All you need to do is dream it, and it's possible... I've also learnt that you have to take this whole "friendship" thing with a pinch of salt.GOD is the only one who's forever unchanging, forever reliable, forever loving..Putting your trust in any thing in human form is clearly asking for trouble..I can't even trust myself to do what I think I will when I think i will..But it all comes with the territory.
I think I'm going to go visit an old friend tonight..I'm in the mood to reminisce, so I think a visit to the past is quite in order..Being human, I ought to be home by midnight..
Does absence really make the heart grow fonder?
All depends, all depends..

Friday, September 23, 2005

G K I N A G M W N W T H S W M..


Where does the Human Brain meet the Human Heart?

For some bizarre reason, I found myself pondering this today. How far does the brain go before the heart takes over? Or do they always preside simultaneously? I mean I can list countless instances where basic reasoning told me to get off certain paths I was headed down..But my heart just wouldn't concur..So I guess I can say that in the past,my "heart" ruled over my "head.".

Increasingly I can feel my Brain fighting back to gain be the one that declares the last word..Getting older? wiser? or perhaps more paranoid? I m starting to think that sometimes the obvious is so obvious that we ignore it.Lessons in "attention to detail " perhaps?

So what about the "Zero tolerance vs Compromise" argument. I actually admire girls that strive for the former..Being the route with more risk, does it translate to producing greater rewards?

So maybe its all a jigsaw puzzle..If it clicks..amazing...Otherwise, mayhem..Sometimes it almost clicks, but not quite..But instead of listening to our "Brains"..We use our "hearts", "compromise" and try and squeeze into fit..Almost like trying to fit into those shoes that fit, but not quite..Thing is we don't know the difference until we try on another pair of shoes that are just right...Then it dawns on us how un-right that other pair was.

If you go home with the "almost right" pair of shoes, because they were beautiful, sexy and all that good stuff..How long before you give them up in lieu of the pair that you know are just right?OR maybe "compromise" comes in now that you've tried, tested and bought the shoes?

Ok,too much talk about shoes..If it doesn't fit, jump out the boat and try again..You just might find that there's plenty of God-fearing,well-groomed, intelligent, witty, attractive, ambituous fish in the sea...OR you might end up with an empty net...

But at least you tried..surely you cannot lose points for that?
If your heart gets broken,Toni Braxton can always come to your rescue.................................................................

I know, too many questions...???????????????

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

An ode to a piece of my furniture...

It's always the little things that you do that have touched me the most. Like fighting to keep awake just cos I have something to say..or asking me how I am the exact moment I'm thinking nobody cares.What about cooking me breakfast while I'm smiling and snoring away..or holding my hand when I'm crosisng the street..

I'm writing this because like all human beings I forget..So when I'm ungrateful, and you're starting to think the worst of me..I just want you to know that in the long run..I'll never forget...Gracias

The Simple Things..

I thought love at first sight was one for story books..until IT happened to my friend...In a WEEK, she has completely undergone some kind of transformation.Her eyes are glimmering, and It's so clear that something has changed..Whatever it is, I hope it is here to stay..

Funny thing is If I didn't know this girl, I wouldn't have believed a word of it...But hey, I'm buying it..

Life should be about valuing the moments,cherishing the good ones, and working through the not so good ones..In the midst of all this paranoia, fear and walls..IT's absolutely refreshing to hear the one simple, "happy" story.

Nice one Girl!!
I read a piece today that made me smile. Today, I want to be content.


Some of the people that make it happen for me..The girls in my life..Enough Love..

Monday, September 19, 2005

The best things in life are free

I woke up on a different side of my bed this morning. Watching ROOTS this weekend left me feeling somewhat mixed up and almost confused. But as I closed my eyes last night, I contemplated the word "FREEDOM". If God has given us the freedom to choose between right and wrong, how can anybody else deny us?Ok, admittedly, the "Kunta Kinte" days are far behind us, or are they really?? Are we slaves to money, other people's ideals, perceptions? Are we slaves to our friends, our jobs, our minds, our families?I don't know if I can honestly answer this question.Some may argue that it's about maintaining a balance.Others may say that the end justifies the means..Maybe in order to appreciate freedon, we all have to be slaves at certain points in our lives.But if you know you have a choice, maybe it makes all the difference?

Freedom is probably a relative term..We're all tied to something or the other..Maybe that's where contentment comes in...
The only thing constant in this life is change..
So Lord, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..
Like the thoughts in my head, the screams in my heart.
But please also grant me the wisdom to change the things that I can..
Like the words of my mouth.
The actions from my being..
And as to knowing the difference, Lord how you reveal that is left to you..
So you think you know me?Do you?
And you know you love me..Do you?
Well, the feeling is NOT mutual..
So please get off my back..
So what if your worst fears come to pass?
Nothing is ever as bad as it really seems
So, go ahead I dare you..
Really I do..
Whatever happens, I know I'll have the last laugh..
Maybe tomorrow....
Lord, when I sleep will you surround me?
Keep me warm when the world’s freezing over?
Feed me when I hunger for more than just food?
Tell me father, Show me…
I find that I often keep my trust away from you
And I seek the very things that shun your heart.
But you still love me, keep me, guide me…
All I can say is thank you
For my yesterday, today, and most of all, tomorrowThank God for Grace, and the fact that you see my heart

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Funny how compliments find a way of worming their way into our hearts..
You’re beautiful. Stop, Smile, Blush…
I really think you look good tonight..Stop again, Lower your eyelids, Smile.
But the crux of the matter is you know you look good because you made the effort..
Spent time at the salon, picked out your clothes carefully, and checked the mirror to see that all was good..
Tell me something I don’t know, give me content spontaneously spewed forth from your heart..then maybe, maybe..
I might break out and smile.
After all, you didn’t make me beautiful, God did!
For some reason,today, I feel inexplicably alone, stuck in transit between two worlds
Neither of which I understand well enough to float..
I feel sorry for myself, something which I just can’t understand..
The easy solution is to find a man..
But reason and wisdom tell me that I should wait till he finds me..
And until such a time should come to pass
I’ll be praying, hoping he doesn’t lose his way..
Thing is tomorrow, I’ll be fine againHappy to go around just being me